My feelings with Aya and doubt have been dispelled with discussion and the healing power of true love. She has a much more eventful life than I. I live a more common life where i go to a boring wokplace then go home eat and maybe hang with friends for a little then go to sleep. Sometimes I feel that I may be boring. As of late I have been doing a lot of soul searching and worrying about things going on inside of me. Part of this is religious affiliation. At this moment I am not secure with it. My main in involvement with paganism was because of the lore behind it and it was really interesting to me. So I ended up taking it up and trying to follow the wheel of the year and get into it as much as possible. It was more forced than I realized and now that I have come to realize. I don't full heartedly believe in all things pagan or even the deities. It's something that I took a while to admit as a part of this realization I have taken off my pentacle until I get all my feelings on the matter sorted out. I like a lot of the things paganism deals with and many other aspects of nature. For now I identify as an Eclectic Agnostic.
The soul searching is not just about religious affiliation, but discovering my inner self. Yes I know I'm a black winged anthromorphic wolf otherkin. But I have been focusing on my past life most of my present life. Now I feel is the time to enjoy my current life and explore the possibilities. As a symbolization of this turned leaf I have taken off my collar and hanged it on my necklace rack next to my pentacle. I need to learn to embrace my human life and not always look at what has been and what could have been. Learning to love myself in this human form will make my relationship with myself healthier and hopefully help me lead a happier more rich life. These realizations have been hard to admit, but now I am going to openly work on them and hopefully meet my inner peace someday. I feel that this is a large step to achieving inner peace. I have new art coming as well!
-Saysha D Wolfe